Every relationship is unique, but as it turns out at the core of it people everywhere are essentially looking for the same things in a
relationship: someone who listens to their stories show that they care, gets
their weird humor doesn’t mind their quirks, wants to stay even when they’ve
revealed their shadow side; someone who “gets” them. Relationships
are like pizza No matter what kind you want, you have to make a strong base,
and the toppings can and will be varied according to individual preferences and
joint compatibility.
Here are 9 Do’s and Don’ts that will help you to make and
keep your relationship strong.
- Do: Listen
attentively.
Our conversations are the key to understanding one another.
The choice of words one uses and the manner in which one speaks volumes about
who we are or what we’re going through, so it is important to really be present
when your partner is talking. The conversation is really two-way, even if only one
person is talking.
- Don’t: Play hard to
get.
Your relationship is not a game and shouldn’t be treated
like one. Don’t make your partner jump through hoops in order to win your
affections. As partners you are equals, and you shouldn’t have to keep testing
him or her for proof of their love. This is part of an ego game being consciously
or unconsciously played, and it ultimately hurts the relationship.
- Do: Learn to express
yourself better
- Don’t hide your
feelings.
Try to be very sincere in your communication with your
partner, as honest as possible without trying to hurt or blame. You’ll know you
have come to a good point both you and your partner feel safe talking to one
another about things without the fear of drama.
- Don’t: Ignore an
issue.
Issues have a tendency to breed. Even if one potentially
sticky situation has passed by without much damage, another one may arrive.
Like any of your fears, face the problem head-on, even if it is uncomfortable.
Do not be afraid to talk to your partner, remember you are on the same team.
- Do: Support your
partner.
Be your partner’s biggest cheerleader. Help them in whatever the way you can, sometimes by being hands-on, sometimes by just staying out of
their way, or sometimes by simply listening to them and giving your genuine
feedback if they ask for it. You don’t have to always agree in order to be
supportive, be supportive of your actions.
- Don’t: Try to change
your partner.
The question is: What kind of change? You can always discuss
changing certain habits, but recognize that whether they make that change or
want to is finally not up to you. If you have more objections about your
partner’s personality, behavior or thoughts than you don’t have objections, perhaps
there are bigger problems to consider.
- Do: Respect each
other’s boundaries.
Every relationship should have boundaries. Before you are a
couple, you are an individual. Give each other space to do your own things, do
not push yourself into any part of your partner’s life unless invited, and
don’t feel entitled to all your partner’s secrets. You do not own one another.
- Don’t: Cause or put
up with drama.
Try your hardest not to put up your defenses so high that
you don’t let your partner in, create mountains out of molehills, compare your
relationship to other people, or threaten to break up every other day.
Relationships are delicate, and drama causes damage that is sometimes
irreparable. A good relationship is interesting without the need for drama.
- Do: Maintain your
individuality.
In a relationship, it is easy to lose yourself a little and
almost merge into one, but it is important to not actually become the other
person. Hold on to the things that make you – you, the qualities and dreams
that attracted your partner to you in the first place. Make time for your
favorite hobbies, people, and yourself.
Strong relationships
are neither impossible nor rare because love is everywhere. Everything else
can be worked on, as long as there are a strong connection and a real desire to
make it work. Love is like cheese; you can’t have a good pizza if there isn’t any
cheese.