As International Men’s Day is celebrated on November 19 every year, it’s a good time to spread awareness about men’s mental health as well as the aspects we often overlook about it. Many men shy away from asking for personal or professional help for their mental health for various reasons. Some of the most common underlying beliefs can be reflected in some variation of the common notions that men have regarding seeking mental health help as reported in a recent survey:
- “I can deal with my own problems”
- “I do not wish to be a burden to anyone”
- “I do not want to appear weak”
- “I’m used to figuring things out on my own”
- “I’m too embarrassed”
- “There’s negative stigma around this kind of thing”
- “I have no one to talk to”
It can be interpreted as a sign of weakness, a challenge to their feeling of masculinity, and more such reasons which lead to the underreporting of mental health issues. We often think of women as the biggest victims of patriarchy, but the reality is that a system like patriarchy is no kinder to men in the country than to any other gender: the pressure of “being in charge”, being masculine and fitting the stereotypical ”man’s” role is a burden that boys are generally groomed towards and men are implicitly expected to take on – whether they like to or not, whether they think it is fair or not, whether they are capable to or not. Indeed, with the fluctuating job market and the unemployment rates skyrocketing, many an eligible and competent young man is forced into the shoes of breadwinner without having the economic means to do so.
With this and so many other things to worry about, who has the time, money, or energy to go for therapy? Add to that a dose of some good old-fashioned stigma and we are creating a mental health situation for men across the country that is neither healthy nor helpful.
When it comes to men’s mental health, what often gets overlooked is the fact that due to social taboos, men’s mental health issues often go undocumented as well as unreported, which means that men don’t often seek out treatment for problems they are facing. Instead, we see a number of men turn to other methods of coping and stress relief for their stress, anxiety, and depression. These coping mechanisms are not necessarily conducive and usually have negative side effects of their own. Aggression and displacement can be used as defence mechanisms, or else the use of substances or other poor habits. Let’s take alcohol use for instance: According to a National Mental Health Survey, the prevalence of alcohol use disorders in males was 9% as compared to 0.5% in females.
“Be a man” and “Man up” are not the answers. Let’s start talking about men’s mental health, normalizing expressing emotions freely and going for therapy, challenging outdated social mores, and giving men a voice in an area they have been deprived of, for fear of rejection and mockery.
Acknowledging we are all human, and we each need support at different stages regardless of gender is the first step. Let’s not overlook that.
