One of the first things we are told by experts is how important
structure and discipline is for children. We teach them the rules of the house,
how to play with peers, how to behave with elders and the rules of the dinner
table. We assign for them a time to wake up, a time to nap and a strict
bedtime. No fruits after evening, no shoes inside the house, the rules are
endless. Whether children enjoy it or despise it, structure is ultimately good
for them. What this tells us is that from a very early age, we seek routine in
our lives. This timetable of sorts teaches us that the world is a coherent,
ordered place. We feel safe when there is certainty.

Adults are not too different. We like to have a certain
level of control over our lives. Indeed, our present is largely spent trying to
control our near or distant future: we make daily schedules, have monthly
targets and formulate 5-year plans as if we’re certain we’ll live forever. But
as anyone who has experienced life enough will know, not all things go
according to plan. The hard or perhaps liberating fact of the matter is that
there is only so much you can control.

This brings us to the need for resilience. Our lives are
woven in such a delicate balance that circumstances outside our control can
change our lives in ways we could never expect. The Covid-19 pandemic stands
testament to that fact. During these times, we have individually and
collectively been witnessing the loss of loved ones, loss of employment, losses
of an overwhelmed healthcare system and overall a loss of life as we once knew
it. Normal will likely not mean the same as before.

How do we cope?

Building resilience may be one of the most important life
skills you will ever learn. Adapting to change and difficult situations and
coming out on the other side stronger or at the very least still standing is
what resilience is all about. As a society as a whole, we certainly need to be
more resilient and better prepared for crises like Covid-19. But what we can do
as individuals is take a deep breath and take care of ourselves first.

Here are a few ways for you to make it through these difficult
times with resilience:

Acknowledge your experience. Uncertainty and
unpredictability are very uncomfortable. However, there is no overcoming a
difficult situation through denial. Accept that things have changed, that it is
unfamiliar and scary, and let yourself actually feel vulnerable. It is human to
feel afraid or upset or angry. Feel it so you can begin to cope with it.

Learn the art of self-care. We tend to overlook taking care
of ourselves during difficult times when we need it the most. Try to make
self-care a daily part of your life through various practices that help you
stay balanced. Examples of these include mindfulness practice, journaling,
personal time for yourself or some form of physical exercise.

Make a place for joy. During uncertain times, you can turn
to old hobbies that offer comfort, or pursue new interests that make you feel
good psychologically. You can play games, read books, watch movies, walk down
memory lane, plan for a post-pandemic future, make something with your hands.
Do something you can enjoy without guilt.

Reach out. You may feel like you have to act strong to be
there for others, but you don’t. Reach out to a counsellor if you are
struggling with something. Reach out to loved ones and stay connected with
people whose company you enjoy. Uncertainty can feel just a little more
tolerable when its shared.

Have boundaries. This is also an important tool for building
resilience: being able to say no when you mean no, asking for the space you
need without guilt, not consuming too much news if you feel overwhelmed and so
on. It is more than valid to have a say on how you decide to spend your time.

These are uncertain times, there is no getting around that.
While surviving is top priority, doing so keeping our mental health intact is
equally important. It is true we can’t control everything, but building resilience
will help you come to terms with that in ways that you can actually control.
The only real certainty in these uncertain times is change.

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