Why and when does it happen?

Genital play- Is a common childhood behavior of exploring their genital organs.

Most children play with their genitals. This occurs normally during their developmental period. As parents, be prepared for this between the age of two and six years. Understand that this is normal and you need not panic.

To a child, masturbation is a normal part of discovering these parts of his or her body and the pleasurable feelings that come from them. In exploring their bodies, kids occasionally discover that some parts feel more pleasurable than others. Once these areas are discovered, they may fiddle more with them. To a child, massaging his or her genitals is pleasure or exploration. It is not “wrong” or “dirty.”

When is it considered abnormal or when should parents be worried?

Genital play can become more than just a passing curiosity when it becomes frequent and intense and the child becomes so preoccupied with self-pleasure that he or she withdraws from interacting with others.

If the habit is an occasional departure from the routine, a quick-fix for boredom, a need for comfort, or an occasional release of pent-up anxiety, it’s normal.

If the person becomes dependent on this form of self-pleasure to the degree that he or she doesn’t reach out in other ways to feel good, it becomes abnormal.

It could indicate a psychological reason and would need evaluation by a child counselor.

What should parents do when the child is engaging in genital play?

Watching your child play with his genitals especially in presence of others can be very embarrassing and challenging for parents.

• Without making judgments about your child’s actions, advise him that anything to do with his “private parts”—like going to the bathroom—is private. Make him understand that he can only do this in his own room
• Distract the child, engage him in a conversation or game
• Build a balanced self-esteem. Children who feel good about themselves on many fronts (home, friends, school, activities) are less likely to resort to habitual genital stimulation
• Chronically bored children often turn to their bodies for stimulation. Keep them engaged. Meaningful games and activities should be planned
• Encourage your child to express his feelings. If he asks questions regarding topics that make you uncomfortable, don’t get angry. Answer his questions depending on his age. Do not lie or make up false stories
• Make and reinforce personal boundary rules such as private parts should be covered, one does not touch other people’s private parts, touching private parts should occur only in private
• Provide accurate names for male and female body parts from the onset
• Provide sexual safety information such as your body belongs to you. The child can say NO at any time if someone’s touches, makes them feel bad or uncomfortable. Make sure they understand that they need to be affirmative and also encourage them to confide in you

What should parents avoid? What not to do?

Avoid punishing/ shouting/ labeling/ humiliating/ embarrassing them when they explore/ stimulate their genitals.

Avoid threatening them

Avoid making them feel that private organs are dirty organs, it may stop children out of the habit, but they also created unwarranted guilt and damaged self-esteem, resulting in unhealthy sexual attitudes.