My child walked into our bedroom while we were making love. What do we explain to him?

Being interrupted by one of your children when making love can be a very embarrassing situation for most parents.

The reactions amongst children depends very much on their age and their understanding of sex.

The usual reactions are:

  • May not notice anything unusual and just accept what he/she saw without question
  • May think something violent or frightening is happening and mum and dad are hurting each other
  • May make them curious as to what was happening
  • Teens may get a better understanding of the situation; but this situation needs to be better avoided

Depending on the reactions their children give, parents should handle the situation. If you don’t handle the situation properly, it becomes a secret and keeping secrets with children may not be a great idea. They may end up gossiping among their peers or asking questions to the wrong people. Hence it is important that you handle the situation very sensitively.

Try to convey very discreetly that though very private, sex is normal and healthy and a sign of love between parents. The more comfortable and reassuring you are, it will only help your child understand about it positively.

It is useful to start by you saying –“Sorry that you came into our room last night, when mum and dad were having some private time – we should have locked the door.”This helps your child know he/she has done nothing wrong.

If your child gets the impression that mom and dad were fighting, they need to be reassured.

Try not to act embarrassed about it. Sex is a natural act and you want your kids not to feel badly about it when it is the right time for them to engage – eventually – so treating it as a normal and natural thing is healthy for everyone.

There is no harm in children understanding that parents share a special way of being physically intimate with each another. (In fact, it’s very healthy.) Such an experience may be embarrassing, but the best approach is to remain calm and matter-of-fact.

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