One of the most prevalent issues that are present among any
generation is, an issue related to romantic relationships. There can be various
factors causing problems in our romantic relationships but very often we don’t
realize Self-esteem being one of the biggest factors. Various researches have
proven that there is a well-established link between self-esteem and satisfaction
in romantic relationships.

Self-esteem represents an overall evaluation of oneself, the extent to which a person feels positively rather than negatively about
themselves and views themselves as a person of value and self-worth.

Something as simple as If you don’t love yourself how do
you expect another individual to love you, is really easier said than done
especially if you have grown up believing that you are not good enough and
have suffered from low self-esteem.

There can be various reasons for someone suffering with a
low self-esteem like, growing up in a dysfunctional family where parents
usually have low self-esteem or are unhappy with each other, growing up with an
overachieving sibling and constantly being compared to or growing up with a
physical disability. The reasons can be many, but all of which end up leaving
an individual feeling like his/her emotional needs are unmet. They grow up
codependent and learn to hide their feelings, walk on eggshells, withdraw, and
try to please or become aggressive.

As a result of their insecurity and impaired self-esteem,
these individuals cannot tolerate either being alone or too close; either one
creates intolerable pain. This causes anxiety and the individual needs constant
reassurance and security due to their fears of abandonment. Since they have
grown up being around primary caregivers (parents or teachers) who they
perceived, invalidated their emotional needs, begging someone for love and
acceptance by keeping their own needs aside seems familiar to them.

The good news is that Self Esteem can be modified. By
wanting to let go of old toxic beliefs and behaviors and working towards
building a better relationship with self and with others, these individuals can
build healthy romantic relationships.

How can you do that?

• Find a way to face and accept your insecurities and fears.
  Acceptance is liberating.
• Surround yourself with people who support you and make you
  feel good about yourself.
• Practicing self-care techniques like exercising, taking out
  time to do the things you love doing and so on.

Sometimes, all of
this might be easy for some people but really hard for the others, so, what do
you do then?

• Finding a skilled therapist who you can either go to for
  individual or group therapy is a good option because speaking to a professional
  who can help you objectively has proven to be beneficial for many.
• Couples therapy is another ideal way to achieve greater
  relationship satisfaction. If one partner refuses to participate, it’s nonetheless helpful if one willing partner does.

Again, these are only certain ways of building one’s
self-esteem, there is no one’s prescription for everyone, so find what really
works for you.

To conclude, remember that no one can save you from
your own problems until you want to help yourself, it’s important to understand
that we are whole individuals by ourselves and when you enter a relationship
with the intent to find a companion rather than someone who can complete you or
fill in any void, your relationships will flourish. All that love you are
looking for lies within you so aims to seek that first.