“The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself” – anonymous

What is loneliness?

Have you ever felt that dullness within you, a feeling that you have no one to fall back upon and share your heart out, a diffuse sense of isolation, monotony? Maybe what you are experiencing is loneliness.

Human beings are naturally social animals. It is natural for us to feel lonely when we are isolated from others. Our brain is adapted to rely on social relationships as a means to survive. In fact, according to a neuroscience, the absence of social contact triggers the same pain as in when hunger, thirst and physical pain hits us.  

Humans, don’t do well if they’re alone!

However, current lifestyle, with all of its conveniences, has led to a sharp rise in isolation. As a result, loneliness is on the rise.

What causes loneliness?

• Modern lifestyle: Now, whether you live in a big city or in a small town, it can be hard to discover ways to connect with loved ones.
• Social anxiety or fear of rejection: Due to the rejection that many have experienced as a consequence of child abuse, disregard, and bullying, many people suffer from fear of rejection, which can show up as social anxiety.
• Social expectations: Loneliness is actually a difference between what you want and what you have. Certainly, people who live alone might be perfectly happy, while, according to one study done by the University of Chicago shows 63% of people who lived with a spouse still described themselves as feeling isolated and alone.

What to do to overcome loneliness?

• Notice your self-defeating thoughts: Our mind can make up theories around things that may not exist. Catch hold of these thoughts that are stopping you from connecting with people when in need.
• Loneliness is a choice, more than a feeling: When you are feeling lonely, it is because something has triggered a memory of that feeling, not because you are in fact alone. The brain is designed to give attention to pain and that includes painful scary feelings too. To avoid the pain associated we experienced earlier we tend to isolate even more.
• Reach out to someone you are most close to:  Reach out because loneliness is unpleasant and can confuse you into thinking that you are unwanted. Make a call to your bestie, or go out and pamper yourself. Reach out to you or someone you are most close to challenging these thoughts!
• Make a plan: Make a routine full of work and tasks, the more your mind is engaged and active, the less it wanders to other things that are creating stress. Do more things that you enjoy.
• Exercise: Exercising leads to a burst of endorphins that kills stress. Hit a gym, or go swimming, dance on upbeats or simply walk, any form of exercise is amazing to help you relieve unwanted thoughts and energy that gets bottled up!