An abusive relationship can become a life-changing scenario.
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Irrespective of the time you have realized that you are the victim of an abusive relationship verbal abuse can become something excruciating. But once you have realized it, you will have to start working towards overcoming the situation.
Here are a few steps that will help you put an end to an abusive situation.
1. ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR
Abusive behavior cannot be justified. It is never the fault of the abused.
Guilt is an important tool the abusers use to stay in control over you. Getting abused should never be considered a consequence for any of your actions. In any situation, only the abuser is at fault. Do not hesitate to take a stand against your abuser and do the right thing.
2. NO FORM OF ABUSE IS EVER ACCEPTABLE
Show the abuser what they are doing cannot be justified and let them understand that what they are doing is never acceptable. Make sure you let the abuser know that this is not acceptable behavior.
This might be something much easier said than done. But taking such a step is mandatory. Usually, abusers fail to understand the problems their actions can create. Take the support of your loved ones and make sure to set up the right boundaries.
3. ASK FOR SUPPORT
Make sure you have a reliable support system in place which includes family and friends. Discuss your feelings with them and share what is happening.
This is a very critical step since doing nothing about it can increase the abuse. Their support can help you feel safe and stay strong. They can also help you stand your ground by giving you a new perspective and stop you from falling into the same situation again.
4. PHYSICAL ABUSE
If at any point in time the abuser escalates to some form of physical abuse, do not hesitate to leave. Your relationship does not have to take a position higher than your personal safety. This might not be easy, but it is absolutely necessary. You do not have to wait for the opinion of an expert to take this step.
5. STAY CALM AND WALK AWAY
Do not try to reflect the abuser in any way. This will only escalate the conflict. Always try to stay calm and walk away from the situation. A response from you is what will make the person take more aggressive steps.
Do not hesitate to leave if you feel the necessity. At times distance can diffuse the situation and solve a lot of problems.
6. NEVER LET ABUSERS CONTROL YOUR FEELINGS.
When you are in a relationship, you might have allowed them to influence your emotions. But make sure you do not give them any power over you. Agitative reaction from your side can become fuel for the abuser. They will feel rewarded if they think you have given them power over your emotions. Never let abusers control your feelings. Do not forget the fact that abusive behavior cannot be an expression of love in any way.
7. SEEK OUT AN EXPERT FOR COUNSELING
Seek out an expert for counseling, either with your partner or alone.
Even though they understand that it is their fault, abusers will not be able to rectify themselves overnight. Their abusive nature might be the result of some other deeper emotional problem. It might take some time for you to recover from the emotional damage as well. Once you have rectified each other’s problems, you might need help rebuilding your relationship as well.
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